In a way, I'd been expecting it for a while... He had cancer for a while... but at the same time, I really did feel like he'd be around forever. I mean, we got him when I was three or something... I honestly don't know how old I was, but it's not far from that. And he never acted like he was sick... The only sign of aging at all that he had was that he couldn't jump quite as high anymore. He got hit by a friggin' car once, and yeah, he came away with a bit of a limp, but he acted fine... It's amazing it was just that once; he'd lay in the road sunbathing; he'd sit underneath the tires of parked cars, and we always shooed him away, but he was smart enough to avoid it all without us...
It wasn't that long ago, the last time he brought a mouse in and ate it whole underneath my computer desk. I always got upset about that kind of thing... but I was kind of grateful I didn't have to deal with the leftovers.
At first, the only way I could pick him up was by scooping him up under his stomach... He got so much friendlier, especially recently... He's always been so good, though, about letting us know when he wanted to be left alone... He scratch or bite, but not hard enough to really hurt. Just enough to make us let go reflexively. But then he'd dig his nails into your shirt when he picked you up, more so recently... I still have a mark on my upper arm.
And man, it's like he only learned to meow when we got Chi. He never did before that, but since then, he'd yowl at us for no discernible reason. It's like he wanted to be fed, but he already had food. He'd just lead us up to his dish and make us watch him eat.
I've never met anyone or anything that was better at snuggling.
He was huge! Everyone was always amazed at how big he was, and I'm not talking about being fat. More like we couldn't help but think he was part bobcat or something. I could entirely believe it, too. He was just like that.
He never did seem to like when we got other cats. He and Chi never got along; she was scared of him and always hissed at him and he'd bully her pretty badly... It was hard to tell, actually, 'cause they mostly went at it while we were all downstairs or away. For a while we thought he was trying to be friends, but then we got to thinking he was more stalking her and trying to scare her. He didn't like Hazel either, and she was scared of everything... I kind of couldn't help but blame him a little when she got killed, 'cause he was always so smart about cars and everything, and I expected him to show her around and everything... I mean, I always knew that was kind of silly... but I blamed myself way more than him, anyway...
I don't even know what happened. Just that he was in the driveway... Right now, I don't care. I want to know, so badly, but... then I don't. So I don't have to blame anyone. I can think it was the cancer, and God knows how hard we tried to stop that.
Damn, whatever it was, it must have been pretty fucking epic to get him like that.
(Love you, Gilly. <3)